Why Spinning is Akin to Giving Birth

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My dad gifted me a 90-day gym membership for Christmas...it was kind of conditional, though. It goes along with a team competition within the gym, where you get points for working out and more specifically, trying new work outs. We are both trying to lose weight, and I'd really like to find an exercise that I enjoy more than I enjoy food. So that is what brings me to tonight's blog post...my first spin class. OMG. I would say "there are no words" but with me, there are ALWAYS words. Lots of them. This is no different...All throughout the class and on my drive home, I kept thinking about how my experience tonight was very similar to my experience on August 14 (and 13th, as I will remind Clara for the rest of her life - 35 effing hours of labor, thankyouverymuch), 2011.

Why Spinning is Akin to Giving Birth

  • You go in the first time with a sense of excitement, because even though you've heard it will be "bad", you truly have no idea what you are getting yourself into.
  • You start to get a little bit nervous when the man in charge starts talking about padded seating.
  • When things start to "get real", the thought crosses your mind that your nether regions will never feel the same again.
  • Oh wait, not just never feel the same, they will feel like fiery bits of torture are pounding on them over and over and over again. With a hammer. That's lit on fire. And weighs 100 pounds.
  • The entire time you are wishing you were dead, and you look around to murder the person who got you into this situation because if you can't die, at least they should...Ian lived on after August 14th though, and in tonight's case, my dad was oh-so-conveniently out of town on business. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK, FATHER DEAREST.
  •  There's a man in front of you telling you to keep going, you're doing great, it's always hard the first time, etc. when the whole time you want to kick him where the sun don't shine because Lord knows he doesn't have the proper anatomy to really know how you feel.
  • You think about quitting more than once, and you would if you knew how to get your legs out of those damn stirrups (or pedals) without causing a scene.
  • The clock does not move the entire time.
  • The last 10 minutes all you do is pray, because literally the only thing getting you through is strength from God...it's not coming from you anymore.
  • When it's finally over and you breath a huge sigh of relief, the high afterwards is so incredible that you actually think about doing it all over again.

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