What a non-running wogger thinks when they attempt to run
Wogger = jogger+walker. Heavy on the walk, in this case. What pops into my head when I "run"? (Heavy on the quotation marks there, too.) Ok, you can do this. One foot in front of the other. Just, a little faster than you were going. Pretend there are donuts being held in front of your nose. No, cookies. Fresh chocolate chip cookies. There ya go. You're running. And by running I mean I could walk briskly faster than this, but minor detail. I wonder if they make sports bras for my butt. It's bouncing just as much as my boobs. It feels like there's a lot of stretching going on. Does the bouncing create (more) stretch marks? Probably. Because, science. I can't breathe. I'm going to have an asthma attack. Except I don't have asthma. Or do I? They discovered my brother's asthma when he was playing sports outside in the cold. Maybe I do have asthma. What will happen to my kids in the stroller if I collapse? I should stop and walk, just for a...

Comments
Post a Comment