I Am Strong Because...

There is a blogger that I follow (Birth Without Fear) who posts different women's "I Am Strong..." stories. The stories are inspiring and heart wrenching and beautiful. Tonight she posted that we could email ours to her, so I will be doing that, but I also wanted to share mine here.

I am strong. You are strong.

I am strong because...

I am strong because I was told that I may not be able to have children and I would certainly need fertility treatment in order to get pregnant.

I am strong because I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) at 18 after suffering for five years.

I am strong because I gained and lost 50 pounds before deciding to try to get pregnant.

I am strong because I started Metformin to help with my PCOS symptoms and even though it did help, it came at a price.

I am strong because I was told by my well-meaning family members I would get pregnant easily "because I came from a big family" even though I knew they were wrong.

I am strong because I got pregnant two months after going off the pill after preparing myself and my husband for years of battling infertility.

I am strong because I researched, read, and prepared to breastfeed my baby no matter the obstacles that may come my way.

I am strong because I was a 9 month pregnant Alaskan in a hot and humid Maryland summer.

I am strong because I was 40w6d pregnant in August.

I am strong because despite a 35 hour labor including 1.5 hours of pushing, a pushy and rude nurse, an epidural given and accepted too early, and a sunny side up baby, I gave birth vaginally to my 8lb 8oz daughter.

I am strong because I tried to nurse right away even though Clara Hope wouldn't latch.

I am strong because I tried again and again with no offers of help. And then finally because I used a nipple shield in order to get Clara to latch.

I am strong because I immediately contacted a lactation consultant upon returning home and began working with her, who reassured me my baby would be ok.

I am strong because the pediatric nurse practitioner tried to force my 4 day old daughter to eat formula and I refused.

I am strong because she claimed I was starving my child and threatened me if I were to discontinue coming to her for care.

I am strong because I found a new pediatrician and got my daughter's tongue tie clipped immediately.

I am strong because I started battling post partum depression.

I am strong because some days all I knew was to ask for God to get me through one more day.

I am strong because my daughter stayed latched 24/7 for four weeks and I kept doing what the lactation consultant and pediatrician told me to do.

I am strong because I admitted I needed to give Clara formula for my sanity.

I am strong because I continued to give Clara formula until she no longer wanted to breastfeed, and I couldn't decide if I was more relived or grieved.

I am strong because I told everyone my story, at first to process it and then later to help others process their own post partum experiences.

I am strong because I went back to work when she was 10 weeks old even though everything in my being was screaming at me not to.

I am strong because after six weeks I quit a job that I loved, where I had been recently promoted and worked with great people in order to stay at home with my daughter.

I am strong because when she was a year old I started suffering from anxiety.

I am strong because I have flown alone with my kid(s) as babies, toddlers, and preschoolers and that shit is hard.

I am strong because my husband took a job working away from home for 6 weeks at a time so we could move our family back to Alaska.

I am strong because I admitted that our dog needed a different home in Maryland even though I firmly believe pets are a lifetime commitment.

I am strong because as I sobbed hysterically, I dropped off our dog at her new home and pulled over to throw up. Twice.

I am strong because with the help of family I moved a toddler and myself from Maryland to Alaska while I was pregnant with our second child.

I am strong because my husband worked six weeks on/two weeks off my entire pregnancy with our second child and I didn't know if he would make it home in time for the birth.

I am strong because I chose midwives for my prenatal care and birth.

I am strong because I told my story to a lactation consultant without crying in order to get the best help I needed to breastfeed my second child. I would have still be strong if I cried.

I am strong because after 40 weeks and 2 days, and 19 hours of med-free labor and a baby who was turned sideways, I gave birth to a beautiful 8lb 13oz baby in a birth center.

I am strong because I put our 2 year old to bed while having contractions and came home to her with a baby named Haddie Noel before she even woke up.

I am strong because my husband made it home in time and I told him I couldn't have done it without him.

I am strong because despite the same battles with PCOS/low supply, thrush, and pain, with the help of my husband, midwives, lactation consultant and friends, I breastfed my daughter.

I am strong because I admitted I needed to go on domperidone in order to breastfeed and spent $75/month on the medicine.

I am strong because after three wonderful weeks, he went back to the slope and I was left with a 2 year old, a newborn, and no family in an Alaskan winter.

I am strong because I still knew we made the right choice to move home.

I am strong because Haddie was a difficult baby who cried a lot and wanted to be constantly held, and I survived, and bonded with her through it all.

I am strong because some days I admitted defeat before the day even started and my 2 year old watched Mickey for hours at a time.

I am strong because I forgave myself for those days.

I am strong because I made it to church every Sunday, mostly on time, by myself with two young kids so they could experience church.

I am strong because I admitted it was also so I could sit through a worship service by myself.

I am strong because the domperidone caused me to gain weight and I continued to take it in order to breastfeed.

I am strong because I started battling severe post partum anxiety.

I am strong because my husband and I have had to fight every single day in order to stay married, even on the days we aren't sure if we will.

I am strong because I admitted I needed help with anxiety and got some.

I am strong because we admitted we needed help with our marriage and are getting some.

I am strong because I joined a gym in order to get a hot shower by myself, but also exercised beforehand.

I am strong because I've lost 37 pounds even though I really love brownies.

I am strong because I'm honest, even when it's difficult to be.

I am strong because motherhood has taught me to be more compassionate, sympathetic, apologetic and understanding than I ever thought I could be.

I am strong because I struggle to be those things daily.

I am strong because my daughters have taught me to be strong.

I am strong because one day I want my daughters to be strong.

I am strong because my daughters are really already stronger than me.

I am strong because I have to be.

I am strong because I've learned to ask for help on the days I'm not so strong.

I am strong because of my love for Jesus, coffee, and wine.

I am strong.