A Day in the Life

What seems like eons ago, but was really only a couple of years ago, I used to do A Day in the Life of Mama S'more posts. I linked one of them there for you, and I can't read them without cringing...in part because if I stop to read something for that long one of my children is likely pulling at me and that shit hurts sometimes, but mostly because I was so blissfully naive when I wrote those. I had one relatively content baby, who slept through the night fairly consistently from about six months on, a husband who came home around 4 every day and was ready and willing to help (by about 5 after his shit n' shower), etc. Don't get me wrong, having a baby is always hard. Having "only" one child is hard. But, I mean, come on...I think I completed laundry, crafts, errands and took care of a dog and a baby in ONE DAY. One day!!! I'm actually laughing thinking about that now. So since having two kids and moving to Alaska, I kept thinking "I need to do another 'A Day in the Life' post..." and I never do. Not just because time to blog is a lot harder to come by, but because I literally cannot keep track of what happens one minute to the next. I could give you our schedule for the day but that does not tell the story of fights over clothes (ummm no one warned me girl fights over clothes started this early), poop explosions, leaving the house with clothes on backwards, stained, or not completely dressed on a regular basis (yes I'm talking about all of us), picking children up off of tables and shelves, the struggles of being patient but setting limits, of building relationships without interfering too much, what it takes to get out the dang door, the constant balancing act that is parenting. So I'm sorry, to my average of 9.4 readers, I can't do those posts anymore (collective sigh...I  know you're hurting, you will PUSH THROUGH) but I can give you a glimpse into what our day may look like by telling you what is said in our home on a regular basis. See if you can figure out which color corresponds to which family member. (The black ones are said by all of us.)

"MOM I SLEPT WELL! COME GET ME! I WANT TO WATCH A SHOW/GO TO SCHOOL/GO TO CHURCH/GO TO PLAY DATE/EAT CEREAL COME GET ME COME GET ME COME GET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sissy hit! Mama! Sissy! Hit!"

"DON'T TOUCH ME! THOSE ARE MY EARS AND YOU'LL MAKE THEM BLEED WITH YOUR NAILS! Mom! Haddie needs her nails cut!"

"I want cereal for breakfast but NO MILK AND NO SPOON!"

"Let's try again with how you're asking for things..."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I was MAD LIKE IN INSIDE OUT! I have those feelings too!"

"You hurt my feelings mom. It hurt my feelings when you said I couldn't climb on my sister."

"UP UP UP UP UP WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA UP UP UP UP WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Pouch! Pouch please!"

"LET'S DANCE!"

"I'm sweating."

"I don't want to!"

"Mom. I can help you carry one thing but I just have my two hands. I don't have three."

"Where are we going tomorrow? After nap? After that? After that? Where are we going after big sleep? Where are we going? Do we need to take a bath? I don't like my hair getting washed. What are we doing after that? Is it Tuesday? What do we do on Tuesdays? After that and after that? I forgot, what are we doing today? Which is first? Where are we going now? I want to go somewhere! No, I'm not ready to get in the car, I want to play pretend Mickey vacation. Let's pack. Where are we going?"

"Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!" usually followed by a deep sigh and then...."I'm sorry Mommy yelled. I'm working on being more patient. Can you forgive me? The answer to your question isn't clear, but I'll try to explain..."

"I forgive you. WHY? Ok, but why? Why?"

"Do you have to go potty?"

"No! I just went potty!"

"I have to go potty NOW or I'll pee my pants, quick, I need a potty mom!!!"

"What do we need from Target?"

"Anything else we need from Target?"

"Ohhhh look what they have at Target."

"Milk mama milk milk. Water bottle!"

"I color!"

"What was your favorite and least favorite part of your day? What made you laugh and what made you cry? Did you feel safe?"

"Can we Facetime with Daddy? No, I want to read books! I don't want to Facetime. WAIT I WANT TO FACETIME!"

"Do you remember...(insert some trivial event from 6-48 months ago)? Do you mom? No, that is not what happened! I remember..."

"I ok! I fell! I stuck! UP MAMA UP MAMA!"

"Waaaaa I nice!!!! Mommy I nice!"

"Hi sissy! Sissy school! Sissy, hug!"

"Do you have a vagina? Still? I have a vagina. Haddie has a vagina. But not Daddy!"

"I want big boobs like you."

"How did the baby get out? She pushed it out, but how? How? How? OH NO DID THAT HURTS SO BAD! DID YOU NEED A BAND AID?!"

"10/5/2 more minutes til school/church/play group/errands/Alaska club/bedtime."

"Who pooped?"

"What's that smell?"

"What's that stain?"

"Where are your pants?"

"Remember it's important to be honest..."

"Wait right there, please."

"We hold hands in the parking lot!"

"No I wanted that shirt!"

"I have to poop! It's coming out of my bum!"

"No I wanted to go out that side!"

"MINE!"

"Oh the Lord is good to me...NO I WANT TO SING BY MYSELF!"

"You broke the rules, Mom! Your shoes are on in the house! You looked at your phone when you shouldn't!"

"Are we going to Quizno's?"

"How was your exercise, mom? I like to exercise! SEE? Owwwwwwwwww!!! My head/elbow/bum/leg!"

"No I don't want to eat that. I don't like that today. I know I did yesterday but today it's yucky."

"Is dinner ready yet?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Din din!!"

"Those blueberries are too juicy. Yuck."

"We don't have time." :/

"Ok I'll pick you up/play with you/make you a snack/read to you, I just need to pee/put pants on/get this odd substance off of my face first."

"Want to read books?"

"Look at the picture I drew for you!"

"I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"I don't like mashed potatoes because they're juicy."

"You're my snuggle bear."

"Give me lots of kisses."

"I love you."

"Goodnight, I love you."

"I need a drink of water! I have to go potty!"