Being a mom of two
People often ask me how I "do it" with two kids and Ian's work schedule. And before I had my second child, I wondered how other moms did it too. How it was different, how it was better...or maybe even worse.
When I was pregnant with Haddie, and I didn't know if there was a baby boy or baby girl inside me, I wondered often what it would be like to have two kids. How we would get out the door in the morning. How I would entertain Clara while nursing a baby. How I would manage to give Clara the attention she deserves while tending to a newborn. Having your second...you know a little bit about what to expect, which is a mixed blessing. For me, there were more worries. I was excited and happy, but I was often scared.
We are nine months in, and I can only say the adjustment is ongoing. I should have known that, since the adjustment to parenting just Clara was ongoing. Their needs change. I have been surprised to find out that the logistics of having two kids is not the scariest part, which is what I was worried about. You get out the door in the morning, somehow. You look back and realize you have nursed a baby every 3 hours every day for 9 months while still playing with your toddler, and you have all survived. You give each one attention when you can, as much as you can. You just do. Some days you even do it well. Someone told me when I was expecting that having two kids is not all that different than having one kid. Some days you feel like you have it all together, and some days you feel like you don't (a certain Sunday morning at church involving a potluck and two fussy kids and lots of stares comes to mind.) I would agree with that advice, except everything is multiplied. The work is multiplied. The stress is multiplied. Your time, however, is divided.
But more than anything, the love is multiplied. I knew I would love Haddie just as much as I loved Clara, because everyone told me I would. I just didn't know HOW. I knew it would happen, I just wasn't sure how it would happen. But it happens just like it did the first time, immediate and ongoing. Fast and slow. Perfect and imperfect. Impossible to explain. But it's not just Ian and I falling in love with our child(ren) anymore. It's two sisters falling in love with each other. (Yes, I'm choosing to believe that even as they yank toys from each other's hands, deep down they are falling in love.) The love is multiplied.
Today as we dropped Haddie off at the church nursery, Clara turned to the volunteers and said "Take good care of Haddie!" before she left. If I could tell myself one thing while I was pregnant with Haddie, it would be that story. Because that story would tell me that it would all be ok. And it is.
When I was pregnant with Haddie, and I didn't know if there was a baby boy or baby girl inside me, I wondered often what it would be like to have two kids. How we would get out the door in the morning. How I would entertain Clara while nursing a baby. How I would manage to give Clara the attention she deserves while tending to a newborn. Having your second...you know a little bit about what to expect, which is a mixed blessing. For me, there were more worries. I was excited and happy, but I was often scared.
We are nine months in, and I can only say the adjustment is ongoing. I should have known that, since the adjustment to parenting just Clara was ongoing. Their needs change. I have been surprised to find out that the logistics of having two kids is not the scariest part, which is what I was worried about. You get out the door in the morning, somehow. You look back and realize you have nursed a baby every 3 hours every day for 9 months while still playing with your toddler, and you have all survived. You give each one attention when you can, as much as you can. You just do. Some days you even do it well. Someone told me when I was expecting that having two kids is not all that different than having one kid. Some days you feel like you have it all together, and some days you feel like you don't (a certain Sunday morning at church involving a potluck and two fussy kids and lots of stares comes to mind.) I would agree with that advice, except everything is multiplied. The work is multiplied. The stress is multiplied. Your time, however, is divided.
But more than anything, the love is multiplied. I knew I would love Haddie just as much as I loved Clara, because everyone told me I would. I just didn't know HOW. I knew it would happen, I just wasn't sure how it would happen. But it happens just like it did the first time, immediate and ongoing. Fast and slow. Perfect and imperfect. Impossible to explain. But it's not just Ian and I falling in love with our child(ren) anymore. It's two sisters falling in love with each other. (Yes, I'm choosing to believe that even as they yank toys from each other's hands, deep down they are falling in love.) The love is multiplied.
Today as we dropped Haddie off at the church nursery, Clara turned to the volunteers and said "Take good care of Haddie!" before she left. If I could tell myself one thing while I was pregnant with Haddie, it would be that story. Because that story would tell me that it would all be ok. And it is.
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